I've found contentment. There are times through my life when I've had to choose contentment, force contentment or long for contentment, but I can honestly say I've finally reached contentment without any effort. The year 2011 proved to be a great year & a pivotal year, as well--though not without its challenges. The kids are now seeing Peter, unsupervised, which has caused much anxiety. Talk about a lesson of trust! Each time they go to visit him, I cover them in prayer & trust the God will deliver them home safely. Although this is a strain on me, it is also an opportunity. It allows me time to spend with just Mike & Parker. While Mike is away at work, Parker gets some one on one time with mom. We very much enjoy our Mommy & Buggy adventures. By the time daddy gets home, Buggy is very excited to share what happened during the day & get some boy time going. The bond that those two have developed is beyond precious. My heart swells with pride & love.
I'm a week away from my wedding and I couldn't be more excited. My kids are growing fast & I'm so proud of all they have accomplished as well. As I sit here on a quiet Saturday morning, I reflect on the past and how far I've come. When Peter left us, I wasn't sure how I would support myself & my kids. I am proud to say I picked myself up by my bootstraps & made it happen. With little or no child support or financial assistance along the way, I managed to provide for us & be successful. We may not have had everything we wanted, it may not have been easy, but we had everything we NEEDED. There were mistakes & bumps along the road, I admit. I made a poor choice getting involved with a loser, but I got Parker out of the deal and I wouldn't trade him for anything. He's never met him & never will until Parker is old enough to protect himself, if even then. Now, I have met Mike who has stepped in as more than "just" a step dad. He's a great role model for the kids, a wonderful father figure & he's become "daddy" to Parker. He's not trying to replace the older 3 kids' father, but rather to give them another glimpse at what a father is.
As for me, I found the man of my dreams. I man of integrity, honesty & selflessness. We have a beautiful home, amazing family & incredible friends. Life is good, friends, life is REALLY, REALLY good. God has blessed me more than I ever could have dreamed of asking for, more than I could ever deserve. I pray these same blessings for you & remind you to keep yourself focused on the future, don't get hung up on the past. God has great things in store for you!
